Not Quite Homesick

Not Quite Homesick | WrittenByJennifer

Almost a year ago, we found out the Army would be moving us. While we didn’t immediately know where we were going (Arkansas? New York? Washington?), I was excited to go. We all know how the mystery location worked out and we’ve been living on Long Island for almost ten months now. Lately though, I’ve been feeling not quite homesick but something along those lines.

It’s odd that this feeling has hit me now. In the last few months, I’ve expanded my social circle a bit. I’ve gotten friendly with some of the moms through the kids’ school thanks to the weather being finally being nice enough for playdates. I’ve been invited to a book club.  Sophia is registered for kindergarten and Jack will be returning to pre-school in the fall. We’ve really settled into our life here but there’s still that nagging feeling that I can’t shake.

Not Quite Homesick | WrittenByJennifer

We’ve been back to New Jersey several times in just the past five months and we have several other trips scheduled. Besides the longing for good food and free babysitters, we don’t have a longing to be “home”. We don’t consider New Jersey to be our home anymore. But I can’t say we consider Long Island to be our home either.

There is a lot of upheaval with Tim’s position within the brigade.  He’s been moved around so often in the ten months we’ve been here, especially in the last three months, that it’s been difficult to establish any type of community. In February I traveled to North Carolina for Army training to help establish a family readiness group at the brigade only to come home and find out Tim would be moving to a battalion and I would have a separate group of people to work with. That move took months to go through and when it did, it lasted two weeks before he was moved somewhere. It’s frustrating not knowing where we belong. On top of that, there’s a possibility of another reassignment in the fall or winter if Tim is promoted.

It’s this weird limbo of being a king without a country that feeds this not quite homesick feeling. I wouldn’t say any of us are miserable here. It’s a place that meets our basic needs but it hasn’t “wowed” us either. We often feel like the outsiders because it is such a nuanced place. I never expected every place we lived in to be a home run. I’m also always fighting off the idea of looking forward to where we’ll end up next. I don’t think there’s anything to do to rectify this feeling either. So for now, I’ll just accept it as a stage in this unique life we’re living.

4 Comment

  1. Ali A says: Reply

    I can’t imagine what it must be like, moving around so much. I grew up in Long Island and aside from college in Maryland, haven’t left New York. One can say that’s pretty sheltered, but I do have that ‘home’ feeling you speak of here. I loved living in NYC and would do it again, but living in Long Island just gives me that comfort and solace. It’s home. You know I’m an advocate for all things LI and I do hope you enjoy however long you’re here & ALSO hope you feel that sense of ‘home’ somewhere eventually 🙂

    1. Jennifer says: Reply

      We spent the morning at the beach on Friday and I can totally see how someone could make this place their home forever. I think it also has to do with our immediate neighborhood…everyone keeps to themselves. We’re the type who want to be friends with everyone, especially our neighbors.

  2. All the moving around is partially why I never wanted to go on active duty. I hate packing! Even doing the 2 week events ONCE A YEAR is painful for me. Do you know when you will have to move again?

    1. Jennifer says: Reply

      The moving wasn’t bad at all. Getting settled was another thing though. He has orders through summer 2018. The E-7 board convenes in June and we’ll find out in September if he made it. If he does, he’ll have to be either locally realigned or PCS because there’s no E7 slot available at the battalion or brigade.

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