Five Alternative Presidential Candidates

Five Alternative Presidential Candidates | WrittenByJennifer

Are you watching the debate tonight? No? Good. Neither am I. I think everyone is in agreement. We need new presidential candidate choices. Let’s buck the trend of the two party while we’re at it. Here are five alternative presidential candidates that I think should run for president of the United States. Yes, I realize they’re all fictional but seriously…they’re better choices than what we have now.

Louise Belcher

She may not make the Constitutional age requirement of thirty-five but it seems the other mainstream candidates have already said “screw you” to that pesky document. So why not get rid of that minor detail for Louise? She’s fiesty and opinionated and young enough to capture that all important 18 to 34 vote. She also wants honesty and will stand for nothing less. She’s also spent her entire life in a small business thanks to her dad’s burger restaurant so she understands budgeting and the struggle of the average American.

Five Alternative Presidential Candidates

If elected I think she would institute the siesta that the Spaniards still practice and hopefully appoint her sister and brother to cabinet positions.

Five Alternative Presidential Candidates

Josiah “Jeb” Bartlett

This one may be cheating because he was an a fictional two term president but damnit, he was so good! I’m nowhere near a Democrat and he would have my real life vote if his name was on the ballot. He’s like the father we all want and need some times. Imagine him calling in the leadership from both parties and taking them to task.

Five Alternative Presidential Candidates

Hermoine Granger

This girl, well she’s definitely a woman now going by the HP timeline, but she would rule the White House and Congress and most of the D.C. metro area. Again, we’d have to “adjust” the Constitution a bit but it’d be well worth an amendment.

Five Alternative Presidential Candidates

She’s smart, always learning, and isn’t afraid to ask for help from others when she needs it. She’s also been known to try and help settle conflicts so I’m sure she’d be up for the task of brokering peace deals now and again or helping to balance that unbalance-able budget. But she’s not a pushover and would certainly stand up for herself and what she felt was right when needed.

Tony Stark

No, not Robert Downey, Jr. playing Tony Stark but actually Tony Stark. He’s seen some shit in his day and has already dealt with the government through contracts so he gets how bureaucracy works and how to make it work for him. I also imagine he’d be a fiscal conservative. I mean you don’t inherit a shit ton of money and then keep it and a multi-faceted company going and growing without having decent financial sense.

Also, I imagine it would be awesome when he’d shut down people like Vladmir Putin and Kim Jong Un. He’d be like “No, I don’t think so.”

Five Alternative Presidential Candidates

Charlie Young

Yeah, yeah, I realize I pulled two people from one show but Charlie was awesome on The West Wing. I wish he never left to go do Pysch. I never watched it, did you? Anyway, I’m fully convinced that if we had stuck around for roughly twenty more seasons of the show Charlie would have been a member of the House, then the Senate, and ultimately a presidential candidate. Not only did he have an everyday kid backstory, which made him very relatable, he never really lost sight of himself when he secured his awesome White House job, and he spoke up to even the president when necessary.

Five Alternative Presidential Candidates

Who would you vote for? Give me your best write-ins below!

2 Comment

  1. Yes to Louise Belcher! Or Tina Belcher! Nice break from the serious/crazy/sad/dysfunctional regular ol’ debate + Presidential election talk … we could all use some comic relief.

    1. Jennifer says: Reply

      We need some serious comic relief because I want to cry just thinking about it. I didn’t even watch last night and I’m still feeling sad.

Leave a Reply