Deep Thoughts At the Gym

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

As part of my general plan to stay healthy and also to ward off anxiety and the winter blues, I’m at the gym two to three times a week. I don’t follow a set workout routine or program. I usually do some cardioย that gets me sweating and then I finish up with some weight training. Neither of these things requires a lot of mental effort on my part so I’m left with my thoughts, which leads to some deep thoughts.

“I’m totally going to crush this run today!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

I always start out with such high and completely unrealistic hopes.

“I bet I’ve burned 2,000 calories in the past ten minutes. That means lots of snacks today!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

A little bit of sweat and labored breathing always leads to this thought which is always followed by reality…

“75 calories?! This treadmill is fucked up. I didn’t put my weight in either so it’s just an estimate. I’m sure I’m closer to 150 calories.”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

 

“Phew! I should be closing in on 2 miles by now.”

Yes because I should be able to run two miles in nine minutes after sitting on my ass for the last six months.

“.75 miles in seven minutes?!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

“Oh! I figured out the next plot point/blog post I need to write. I’m a genius!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

Of course I never save these ideas on my phone so they’re always lost.

“This is my jam!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

“And so is this one!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

“And this one!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

“Ew! That Joey Buttafuoco look-a-like is looking in my direction. Do not make eye contact! DO NOT make eye contact!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

“People, you need to learn the unspoken rule of personal space on the treadmills.”

This is after someone gets on the treadmillย right next to mine when there are a gazillion other ones open.

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

“Oh thank God I’m almost at two miles!”

Eventhough I’ve been walking for the last half mile.

“Yes! My jam!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

I hit the two mile mark…

“I’ll stop after this song is done.”

Song is done but mileage is at 2.11 a completely ridiculous number to stop at…

“I’ll stop after I reach 2.25 miles.”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

“I love this song!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

Somehow I get off of the treadmill and I hit the weights.

“I’ll just bump up the weight five pounds from my last workout.”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

Two reps later…

“Nope. Nope. Nope.”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

The college kids roll in…

“Who wears Abercrombie & Fitch to the gym? Is that even a popular brand still?”

“Dude, you haveย way too much hair product in your hair for the gym and 7:30 in the morning.”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

“Yeah Joey B wanna-be, I am going to do leg presses and yes, you’re super obvious with your staring.”

“Oh! That girl’s outfit is super cute.”

“I’m making myself some bacon and eggs when I get home. It’s got protein and it’s low carb…it’s practically health food.”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

“Oh thank God I’m done!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

Walking out of the gym…

“I rocked this workout.”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

“Oh! This is my jam!”

Deep Thoughts At the Gym | WrittenByJennifer

15 Comment

  1. Lauren says: Reply

    this made me laugh… since i experience all of these on a daily basis at the gym. Submit this to buzz feed girl! It’s awesome!!! Way to go for being in my head!

    1. Jennifer says: Reply

      Haha! I’m glad I’m not the only one who has these ridiculous thoughts. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I can’t stop laughing… this is hilarious! I have just about the same thoughts when I go running. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Ali says: Reply

    Lol, sounds familiar ๐Ÿ™‚ I often wonder if Abercrombie and Fitch is still popular. Thanks for the laughs!

  4. So funny! I think I have pretty similar thoughts while working out. Of course, motivating myself to get to the gym is another story and a whole other category of deep thoughts, lol.

    1. Jennifer says: Reply

      Yes! Getting my butt out of bed and out the door to the gym is a feat all to itself. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Kacy says: Reply

    Hahaha love it! I have definitely had most of these. I mostly do classes at my gym, so a lot of my thoughts are “um, what the hell was that? can I do that? did you see my jelly rolls while I did that? Well, at least I did it!!” etc. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Jennifer says: Reply

      Oh man! The classes are a whole other ball game. It takes me at least a month of attending them to figure out what I’m actually supposed to be doing.

  6. I have the same thoughts about the treadmill! People, there are millions open! And if you take the treadmill next to me, then yes, we are racing. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Jennifer says: Reply

      Obviously we’re racing! ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Oh these are so true!! I think it’s a law that there must be strange and odd people at the gym just to entertain the “normal” people!

    1. Jennifer says: Reply

      So many strange people! I once had a lady in my yoga class fall asleep three minutes in, snored through the entire class, and then got up at the end like it was NBD. What the what???

  8. Jean says: Reply

    So glad I quit the gym last year! Most of these thoughts have run through my head at one point or another. Thanks for the laugh!

  9. So funny and perfect inner-dialogue! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Loved it, forwarding to my gym friends!!

    1. Jennifer says: Reply

      Thanks for sharing!

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